Go-Boom-Go-Zen

Mai am doua zile pana fac un an de cand locuiesc aici. Logic, this raises at least one question in my head: what have I done so far?!? *insert insane laughter here*

I spent my night trying to make sense of it all (obviously, it wasn’t the first, it’s been an entire series of sleep deprived nights so far). After loads of loud thoughts and music, serious tooth ache and pain killers, I thrown myself in bed and started listening to radio theatre. That finally worked and I fell asleep – just to wake up half an hour later (courtesy of my flatmate’s phone – do take into consideration the fact that I usually don’t even hear my own phone when I sleep, even if it’s next to my ear). I ate breakfast, which I rarely do in the morning, had my usual dosage of nicotine and taught myself four simple steps to end a panic attack while I was having one. Now, after repeating what I could remember from NLP and three songs from Guess Who, I’m starting to feel a bit better. It’s a bit difficult trying to practice psychology on my own self, but I managed to clear my head enough to remember some of the tattoos of the last guy I met: a kid with a hammer in his hand and a nail in his head (left hand) and an old man in a strait jacket (right hand). My methods certainly have enough room for improvement.

I didn’t want to write here, but I figured what the heck! it helps, why not do it.
I may seem borderline psychotic. I may actually be close to that as a matter of fact, but it will all be sorted out soon. The hard nut is still underneath all this neurotic toffee exterior and it will come out to play as soon as Criminology starts, at the end of this month. Then… we’ll just have to see. But my guess is that I’ll be better. I mean, shit helps stuff grow, right?!?

Temporary madness may be necessary in some cases, to cleanse and renovate the mind; just as a fit of illness is to carry off the humours of the body.
(Augustus William Hare and Julius Charles Hare, Guesses at Truth, by Two Brothers, 1827)

I needed to let off some steam. This is one of my ways to be zen again, ergo off to bed I go, to catch up on my dreams!

~ by Joyce Hart on September 8, 2010.